Funny Blonde Jokes and Blonde Humor


Posted on: July 31, 2009

Why does a blonde drive a BMW?
Cuz she can spell it…

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Why don’t blondes know how to write the number “11”?
They don’t know which “1” comes first!


A blonde recieved an assignment from her special ed. science teacher. The assignment was what will happen after you pull all of the legs off of a grasshopper. So the blonde says jump grasshopper jump. And the grasshopper jumped. So she pulled off one leg and said jump grasshopper jump. And the grasshopper jumped. So she does this until she got down to the last leg. So she pulled it off. Then she said jump grasshopper jump. And the grasshopper didn’t jump. so she wrote down on her piece of paper.
They lose their hearing

There were three woman at an American college eating lunch. There was a Russian, American, and a Blonde. They were all bragging about their countries.
The Russian said,” We were the first in space.
The American said,” We were the first on the moon.
The Blonde said,” Well, we will be the first on the sun.
The Russian said,” You cannot do that or you will burn up!
Duh! We’ll go at night.” the Blonde replied.

A blonde and a redhead are walking down the street when the redhead says awww look at that dog with one eye so the blonde cover her left eye and looks.

I had decided to go shopping to get a gift for my wife. We were going to be taking a trip, and I knew that she would need a new swim suit. I had been to several stores, but could not find one that I knew she would wear. My wife is very modest. As I was headed home disappointed in not finding what I had been shopping for, I noticed a women’s clothing store and decided to give it one last try. As I entered the store I was met by a very attractive blonde sales clerk. “Can I help you find anything special today sir?” I replied, “Maybe you can. I’m looking for a swim suit for my wife. I know that she would prefer a one piece suit if you have them.” The clerk looked a little puzzled…..”Do you think that she would prefer the top or the bottom?”

A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park. A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asked the blonde what she was doing and she replied,”I’m hanging myself.” “Your supposed to put the noose around your neck not your waist.” said the onlooker. “I already tried that,” replied the blonde “but I couldn’t breathe“.