Funny Blonde Jokes and Blonde Humor

Archive for May 2009

Blonde cop

Posted on: May 29, 2009

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can’t find it. She says to the cop, “I must have left it at home officer.

The cop says, “Well, do you have any kind of identification?” The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, “All I have is this picture of myself.” The cop says, “Let me see it, then.” So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, “Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have even pulled you over. You can go now.”

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There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world”‘ and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world” and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said “I think…” and it sucked her in.

One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren’t dumb.
They begged: “Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we’re not dumb.

The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd.
She got up on the car too and the man asked: “What is the first month of the year?
The blonde responded: “November?

“Nope,” said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, “Give her another chance, give her another chance.

So the man asked: “What is the capital of the U.S.A ?
The blonde responded: “Paris?
So the crowd began chanting again: “Give her another chance, give her another chance.

The man said: “Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?
The blonde replied: “Two?

Give her another chance, Give her another chance.” screamed the crowd.

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.

She replies: “Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don’t understand.

What did you not understand ?

And the blonde says: “Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it’s just a quarter!

A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her.
The man in the car says to her, ”What do you have in the bag?

The blonde replies: ”I have chickens!

The man thinks for a moment and says, ”If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?

The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, ”Okay, but I’ll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go camping for the weekend. The brunette brings food so they can eat, the red head brings water so they can drink and the blonde brings a car door, so if she gets hot she can roll down a window.

Two blondes were driving down the road.
The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ”Yes. No. Yes. No.