Funny Blonde Jokes and Blonde Humor

Posts Tagged ‘brunette

Car Wreck

Posted on: July 15, 2009

There was a red head, brunette, and a blonde driving in a convertible car. They were driving to fast and flew over a gaurd rail and they landed in a river. The red head and the brunette float up to the surface. Why didn’t the blonde?

-Her door was locked!

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There is a brunette and a blonde hanging over the edge of a cliff off a piece of rope. They realize that the rope will break if one of them doesn’t let go and they will both fall to their deaths. The brunette starts this big heartwarming speech about how she is going to sacrifice herself. At the end of the speech the blonde starts clapping.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are running from the cops. They hide on a potato farm. They crawl into some potato bags. The first cop pokes the bag with the brunette in it. She says, “Meow.” The cop confirms that it is just a cat. The second cop pokes the bag with the redhead in it. She says, “Woof.” The cop says that it is just a dog. The third cop pokes the bag with the blonde in it. She say in her sweetest voice, “Potato.

A young brunette goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.

The doctor says, “You’re not really a brunette are you?

She says, “No, I’m really a blonde.

I thought so,” he says. “Your finger is broken.

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world”‘ and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world” and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said “I think…” and it sucked her in.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go camping for the weekend. The brunette brings food so they can eat, the red head brings water so they can drink and the blonde brings a car door, so if she gets hot she can roll down a window.

If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building with the same velocity, each travelling at a parallel speed relative to one another, who lands first?
The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.